by Liz Henry
Way too many parent child relationships suffer because of the fact that coming out to parents causes a lot of stress. This will always be an emotional journey you embark on, so come prepared.
There is no use having this very important talk with them if you are still unsure about your own sexual orientation. Do not blurt out a half-truth, but rather explain to them that have an attraction to people of the same sex and ask them for their support and advice; This way you get your parents on your side right from the early stages of coming out.
In the case where you may be settled into the gay life and want the world to know; coming out may be necessary to allow you the freedom of an open gay life. Again, make sure you know what you feel before talking to your parents. Choosing the right time will make it a bit easier as well.
Many gays make the mistake to tag a friend or even their lovers with them for the coming out talk. This is always a mistake, as your parents will want to talk to you alone and ask personal questions. A familiar reaction from parents is to look for what went wrong and your poor lover may just end up as the escape goat.
Do not expect your parents to shrug and carry on with their lives. You will find in most cases that they will tell you that they knew all along, but wanted you to tell them yourself. Expect emotional moments as they come to grips with this revelation.
First concerns are usually about gay people and the negative connection between their lifestyle and HIV Aids these people suffer under. This is a perfect time to talk openly about safe sex and show your self as responsible in this matter.
Some churches still have major problems with gay people and should you find yourself in such a family you must stick to your convictions. No person, not even your own parents are allowed to judge your faith.
Your parents may not be comfortable seeing you with a lover, so respect their whishes and never push the issue. In time they will relax and see how happy you are. Before you know it they will invite your better half over.
Have lots of compassion and patience for all your family members as they process this information. In a short while they will open up and warm up to you again. Blood is thicker than water.